


Sorbet

by elumish



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-23 09:40:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3763348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elumish/pseuds/elumish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Rodney thinks of death, he thinks of sorbet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sorbet

When Rodney thinks of death, he thinks of sorbet.

It’s absurd, he knows, considering that he not only lives in a galaxy full of people who are actively trying to eat him but is part of a team that spends its time antagonizing those people. But his _Tante_ Marie’s mango sorbet was his first near-death experience, so when he thinks of death, it’s of that sorbet, which _Tante_ Marie put lemon juice in and forgot to tell his mother about, and which he got three spoonfuls of before his throat closed up and everything faded into panic and gasping and his mother screaming, “Meredith” like it was all his fault.

The day his parents died was the best day of his life. He had been tied to them in name and in Jeannie, and they were too busy tearing each other apart to remember Jeannie was a human being instead of a chew toy to be fought over until there were more holes than there was skin. Not that he was the best at dealing with her—he would be the first to admit that—but at that point, anyone would be better than them.

He was a hands-off guardian until she started her PhD. At that point she was educated enough to understand what he was talking about and intelligent enough for him to hold actual conversations with. She was going far, fast, and even if she wasn’t going to reach his level—she didn’t have his ambition—she was better than anyone else he had met.

And then she met that moron of an English major and got herself knocked up because she hadn’t been careful enough to use a condom, and his whole world cracked. Gone was possibly the only chance he would ever have of working with someone he not only respected but liked, even if sometimes they couldn’t stand to be in the same room as each other. Now her entire life was going to revolve around babies and teething and being a _mom_ , like that was more important than making the great discoveries of their time.

So he cut her off, because he had no time for someone who had priorities like that, and because that was what he did when he was really truly angry, and because he didn’t want to watch her turn into their mother. And then at some point it became a habit, and he wasn’t willing to swallow his pride and apologize when she was the one who was wrong.

And the problem is, when he sees Jeannie again, he reverts to being Meredith and he hates it, not just because he hates the name but because he is, he worked to be, Dr. Rodney McKay, PhD, PhD, and he could have done more but there was no point in getting more degrees when he was smarter than the people teaching him and the students around him. He had worked for the CIA until he realized that building weapons wasn’t just building weapons; it was giving the CIA ways to kill people. And no matter what people like to say about military scientists, he doesn’t relish in death. But he is the smartest person in two galaxies, and he earned it.

But with her, he is just Mer, and he resorts to bickering and squabbling like a child. And he’s the Mer who wants to apologize, who wants a family again even though he knows better than anyone that he survives perfectly well on his own without one. And in truth, he works better without one. Then there’s nobody for whom he has to worry about their feelings, nobody for him to get used to relying on. Because family leaves you. Family blames you. Family brings sorbet to dinner and forgets to tell your mother that it has lemon in it.

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently I get lots of writing done during class when I'm supposed to be paying attention.


End file.
